Tinder & the Death of Romance


We live in an age of superficial sexual pleasures. An age where we confuse consequence with cause. Instead of attraction being an organic combination, selection of a partner is now determined by one thing. Looks. The swirling pool of flesh bombards the retinas without any imagination required.

Dating is a violent sport. Instead of being an exciting adventure in a particular stage of life, it’s become a layer of irritating vexations, test driving multiple vehicles at once with no intention of a purchase. It’s normal to see multiple people at once, all at various stages of the initial dating phase, which is typically somewhere near, or past, home base.

Where do we go in this confusion? It’s no longer a matter of finding a diamond in the rough, because the true authentic romantics don’t play by the new rule book. They open doors for one person, buy roses for one person, experience anxiety over one person and dance with one person. And if it doesn’t work out, they cry over one person.

How can anybody feel loss with so many replacement parts on the market? They can’t feel loss, they only feel lost over time. Time after time, date after date, they wonder why they feel so down. It’s not meant to be like this.

It’s not normal to play the field.

It’s not normal to base your attraction on what a potential partner looks like in a photo.

It’s not normal to use romance as a tool rather than expression.

Actually, all these things are normal… But it’s not right.

The world is filling up with the tears of those who feel alone. They have been stripped of their worth as what love once was has been replicated and twisted into technique and fabrication. When lust reigns supreme, will we remember what love felt like? Where has she gone? Love is shivering in the cold corner of the woods.

Lead her into the light. Be gentle and fearful of such beauty.

Love is patient… Love is kind.

Are you?


Written by Randall Evans

This is The Vile Mint.

33 thoughts on “Tinder & the Death of Romance

  1. Actually, people have always had a lot of dates before deciding on The One. They might not have jumped into bed with every one in the past, but they certainly kicked the tires a lot. I think what you’re lamenting is that nowadays people expect instant gratification from a “date.” They want desperately to fall in love and if a date doesn’t turn out to be an actual falling in love, they are disappointed because it is not like in the romantic comedies. We are inundated with quick and easy stories on TV. Life isn’t like that. It takes a while to get to know someone. Love at first sight, doesn’t really work. but don’t underestimate the power of the physical attraction. That’s what gets you interested in the first place. You just have to go in knowing it’s a superficial kind of thing. You’ll be disappointed more often than not, but disappointment is a part of life. It makes the real thing that finally comes along that much better.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks for your insights. I’m not sure if people actually know that they are desperate to fall in love. A lot of the time they are on these platforms for a hook up and then become surprised when they feel attached (and subsequently betrayed). Sometimes our biology and our ideals don’t follow the same goals.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. I love this post. I love it. And I am aware of many other perspectives, I am not sure folks in poly relationships or those who like dating as an extreme sport would agree with the “true romantics’ part. But I like that people like you and myself exist. Except violence keeps me at the sidelines, I find online dating leaves me cold and depressed. Or competition over someone I fancy. I’m not very competitive when it comes to the heart.

    “Lead her into the light. Be gentle and fearful of such beauty.” Your writing is touching. How rare…


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