Who Are We Fooling?

*Knock knock*

The man opens his door.

“Hi, do you want your grass?”

An odd question…

“What do you mean?”

A odd response…

“I mean, do you want your grass? Out here?”

The woman (I bet you didn’t picture a woman) leans to one side to display the man’s lawn behind her.

The woman that you didn’t see coming continues, “Why do you have grass on your lawn?”

The grass was trimmed only yesterday, the man thought.

“Well, I suppose it’s the normal thing to have.”

The woman smiles.

“Doesn’t it bother you? Doesn’t it bother you that you have to spend all this time and money to keep it maintained?”

“Well it only cost -”

“That’s no the point!”

The man is taken aback.

The woman calms herself and smiles yet again.

“Look, i’m not sure what you are suggesting. Are you suggesting that I never trim my grass again?”

“Not exactly, and please, keep your innuendoes out of this. I’m suggesting that you remove your grass completely.

Still confused, the man steps out of his house and onto his lawn.

“But, what’s wrong with it?”

“Nothing,” the woman replies.

“Isn’t it nice?”

“It’s very nice!”

“Don’t you like it?”

“I like it a great deal!”

“Then what’s the problem?”

The woman does something generic. I don’t really care what she does. This line exists purely to indicate who is talking.

“The problem is that you don’t like it.”

“What do you like, sir”, the woman added… well she added the ‘sir’ so we know it was ‘her’.

“I like graves.”

“You like graves?”

“Well, no. I mean, I would like to have an open grave in my front yard. So, when I die, I won’t have to walk very far.”

“Very well.”

The girl turns around and walks off the man’s lawn.

“Well?”

“Well what?” the girl replies.

“What are you going to do about it?”

The girl smiles, or frowns, or does whatever you picture her to do.

“I don’t have to do anything you expect me to do.”

But then, as we all suspected, she knocked on his neighbors door.

– By Randall Evans.

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